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In my work with women, I’ve found that there are two basic reasons why most women won’t date a short man: Some women will feel nervous about being too big, telling themselves they’ll look smaller if they’re with a bigger guy; others simply want the knight in shining armor, and they need a man to live up to a fantasy image of masculinity and size, telling themselves that a bigger man is also automatically emotionally stronger, too.
Don’t let this kind of distorted thinking get in the way of meeting someone really great.
When it comes to romantic partners, men and women tend to sort themselves out so that they form pairs of similar height.
What’s interesting about my client, Alexis, is that she had it wrong when it comes to her attitude about short men.
All this time, she’d told herself that she didn’t like short men because she simply wasn’t sexually attracted to them; in fact, the real reason she wasn’t attracted to short men was because she had a fixed image in her mind of what a man should look and act like as a result of her upbringing, and she needed the men she seeks out romantically to fit the same exact image of the men in her family. I spend more hours than you’d believe trying to help men and women change the type of person to whom they’re sexually attracted. The first step is to dig deep and ask yourself what in your history makes you attracted to a certain type, as well as what in your history repels you from a certain type.
You can probably come up with your own counter-arguments to the evolutionary interpretation on your own. First, taller men may only stronger because we conflate height with weight and strength.
Second, being “looked up to,” quite literally, may at some subconscious level lead taller men to feel that they have superior qualities.
She insists, “I’m just not attracted to them.” Alexis is a smart woman, and she is also a nice person, even though her attitudes about short men are actually pretty patronizing and dismissive.